This essay prompt is about two books Ender's Game and The Absolute True Story of a Part-time Indian in which one of the characters meets another from another book.
Junior sat in his first class of the day at Reardan. The school that was 22 miles away from his hometown, Wellpinit, with a bunch of white kids who seemed to hate Indians. Junior felt immensely out of place. At least he was smart enough to be taking geometry as a freshmen, but that probably wasn’t very good as sophomores stared him down walking into the room as he was someone who didn’t belong. The only upside was Penelope. He was given some questions to do but it was open, but he was staring. Not at the book but staring as he always did at Penelope. Wondering if she would go to the dance with him, but he was too poor, he knew it. But he always put himself down like this. He knew it himself.
Just as he was about to start working as he should have been for 10 minutes, he heard the door click open to see a slim but strong-looking boy walk in. He handed a note to the teacher and sat down next to Junior. Junior was surprised to see a man’s face on a boy’s body. The teacher stood and announced “Class, this is Andrew Wiggin, he is new just like Junior, so please make him welcome.” Junior sniggered and thought on how he was treated on his first day. Boy was that hell. “I’d rather Ender.” Andrew said quietly. Junior stared. He doubted anyone would give him THAT much of respect. Hell, he had less respect than even Gordy, the school genius, but they were beginning to become friends anyway. The teacher nodded and went back to something on her computer. Ender looked at the geometry book, and laughed to himself. Within 5 minutes he was finished with 3 pages of advanced geometry. He sat and waited, his face contorted in thought. Junior stared almost as much as he did at Penelope. “HE JUST FINISHED GEOMETRY THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE ANOTHER HOUR.” Junior thought. The teacher looked distressed as if he was some idiot who just didn’t try. “Ender, are you finished?” Ender got out of his trance immediately and stated “Yes.” Junior thought the teacher was going to hit Ender by the way her face twisted into a scowl. “Let me see your paper.” Ender walked up, gave her the paper, and sat back down. All eyes were on him, but he seemed like he didn’t care. He just sat, again deep in thought, for the rest of the class. Of course the scowl that he was given was given again as the teacher announced “Alright Ender, you finished your homework for now. I’ll talk to you about this tomorrow.” The bell rang an hour later and Junior rushed to Ender. “How the hell did you do that?” He demanded. Ender didn’t say much, but looked at Junior and said “It’s easy.” Junior didn’t have any classes with Ender until after lunch, but at lunch he sat with him. “Where did you come from?” Junior asked. Ender kept on eating but answered. “If I told you, you would never believe me.” Junior gave him a quizzical look but decided to stick with him. He had much to learn about Ender, and there was something that made Junior very curious. Lunch ended and Junior didn’t talk to Ender for the rest of the day until after school.
As Junior walked out of Reardan, he was immediately tackled and thrown around. It caught him off guard and couldn’t do much about it until he saw Ender come out of nowhere and give one of the 4 or so kids a right hook no one had ever seen before. The other kids immediately stopped beating up Junior and backed away. Junior was helped up by Ender and they both walked away as the kids were looking at the kid who had been knocked out and most likely had a broken jaw. Junior was the one who spoke after a few minutes of walking. “Thank you.” His ribs were bruised and he was bleeding a little, but he was ok. Ender smiled and said, “Don’t worry about it, I was just like you when I was your age.” Junior almost laughed. “What do you mean? I’m as old as you!” Ender smiled again and said “You can think that.” Junior and Ender hitchhiked to Wellpinit and Ender was dropped off just outside of the town. Junior finally found a friend at Reardan.
After i read this story i felt like i wanted to read more beacuse it was interesting but it wasn't very long. It made me think about school and how you shouldnt pick on kids because you never know if that kid has a friend that could beat you up.
ReplyDeleteI htink that the conversation was authentic. The thing that made ender seem real was the math part. However there was one part where junior didn't seem real. It was the part where he was getting beat up. In the book nobody wants to mess with him after he punched that other kid in the face.
"Ender come out of nowhere and give one of the 4 or so kids a right hook no one had ever seen before. The other kids immediately stopped beating up Junior and backed away." This was my favorite part of the story because it showed that on top of being smart ender is also tough and will stand up for other people.
one thing i found problimatic was that im pretty sure when someone talks its supposed to bea a new paragraph. It kind of makes it easier to read. I think tahts what you are supposed to do.
Next time i think the author should skip the begining stuff.im talking about describing junior and what he did at school. It could have got into the conversation a little faster. I thought this was a good story.
Well Dimitri my initial reaction to the story was that it was good but not great. I feel like there should've been more. I remember Ender finishing his homework with ease.The story made me feel like i wasin class, because i was bored.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think there was much of any conversation. So there should've been more dialouge.
My favorite part of the story was when Ender finished his homework so quickly."Ender looked at the geometry book, and laughed to himself. Within 5 minutes he was finished with 3 pages of advanced geometry." Iliked it because it reminded me of an episode of Malcolm in the Middle with some smart kid in it. The episode was really funny so i enjoyed this part of the story.
I thought that quoting someone's thoughts is weird. I don't know if you're supposed to or not bothered me. Other than that, whether it was right or wrong, everything was good.
One piece of advice i have is next time create more dialouge. You could also consider having more creativity. Most of the stuff came rigght out of the book. But good job mate.
I can honestly say, this is one of the best short stories i have ever read. I liked the way he described everything. He put everything in to detail. An example was "Ender gave him a right hook..... most likely broke his jaw" I liked that sentence. I could just picture a kid saving another kid from a bully in my head. I felt suprised at how good it was after reading it.
ReplyDeleteThe convesation between the two characters seemed authentic but there wasn't much. One detail that made Andrew (Ender) seem real was the sentence.."Junior was surprised to see a man’s face on a boy’s body". That described Ender very well to me. Just maybe you couldv'e added a little more dialogue.
My favorite part of the story was when Junior was getting beat up and Ender saved him by throwing a "right hook". "Ender come out of nowhere and give one of the 4 or so kids a right hook no one had ever seen before." I liked that sentence a lot. It reminded me of the book contender because the contender had to do with boxing.
One thing i found problematic like Alec said was, you should split the story up into paragraphs. It gets kind of confusing reading something without any paragraphs. Just a tip.
One thing i could recommend is putting paragraphs into your story or using some more dialogue. But other then that it was good.
Nice job Kastro. Cheers
I liked your story, but it could have had a little more dialogue. I think that you did do a good job of establishing the setting at which these events were occuring, because I was visualizing this happening in geometry class.
ReplyDeleteI felt that the characters were well-defined, and the way Ender stood up and fought when the other people were beating up Junior seemed like exactly what Ender would've done. It would have been easier to read this though if it had been split up into paragraph form.
My favorite part was this sentence:
"Junior gave him a quizzical look but decided to stick with him."
That says a lot about how Junior is feeling. He's not really trusting of Ender, but he's trusting enough to stick with him.
I didn't quite understand this sentence
"He was given some questions to do but it was open, but he was staring."
I know what you are trying to say, but this seems like an editing mistake.
Next time, you might want to space out your work into paragraphs. It would benefit your readers. Overall, nice job.
I felt this story was very well written and had a great story line. I could see the part when Ender finished his work and then told the teacher he was done and everyone was looking at him. This story made me think a lot about Ender's Game and how Ender excelled in his studies and helped people out. Also how Ender didn't have many friends when he started at school. After reading this story I feel that Ender was really nice to Junior for helping out when he was getting beaten up.
ReplyDeleteThe conversation did seem authentic even though there wasn't very much dialogue. Ender would have had answers very similar to the ones given in this story. As well as his his actions like saving Junior. This is in his character and I think this story is very believeable.
My favorite part of the story was when Junior and Ender were at lunch and Ender says,“If I told you, you would never believe me.” This creates a mysterious background and make's you think about it. Also it gives a twist to the story, rather than telling Junior he keeps him guessing.
I found that not having spaces between paragraphs was distracting. It was hard to find your spot if you got interrupted while reading this essay. Also its hard to tell where one paragraph starts and another one ends. It would make it easier for your readers if there were spaces in between.
The only thing I would improve is the spacing between paragraphs. It would help the readers. Other than that i found this essay interesting and very well written.